Toilet Bowls and Walls of Water: B’Shalakh
I was at an online conference this week. I would have normally been present for it in Colorado, but in-person was canceled due to Covid. It was so disappointing for me not to be with my friends and colleagues, I had a hard time staying present for the screen at first.
At one point, I got up to go to the bathroom, and just to stall for more time, I began scrubbing my toilet. Then I went to the other bathroom (yes, I have two!) and scrubbed that one, too. Both were long overdue for a cleaning, so I had a good excuse.
And now I feel like I have nothing to say about the Torah this week, but I can’t not write when this is the centerpiece of Torah!
I mean, who doesn’t have an image in their head from a movie or a coloring book of a wall of water, one on the right, one on the left, Moses with his long robes and staff leading hundreds of thousands of people through dry land to freedom, with Pharaoh’s chariots behind them.
Okay, here’s something; the parsha starts like this: “When Pharaoh let the people go (b’shalakh) God did not lead them (v’lo nakham) by way of the land of the Philistines, although it was nearer; for God said, ‘The people may have a change of heart (yinakhem) when they see war, and return to Egypt.’”
In other words, they will become discouraged or afraid because the Philistines may not let them go through their land and they’ll start a war. Thus, they might have a change of heart, turn around and go back to Egypt, back to the place where they were slaves, because that seems easier at the moment—less scary than what they’re facing.
The word for “lead” is the same spelling as the word for “change of heart.” Why? I couldn’t find any commentaries on this by from “the rabbis.” Does this mean I’ve got nothing here? Am I wrong? Probably. But no matter. Life is all about taking chances.
The point is, the Israelites don’t get to freedom in a straight line. None of it is easy. Just like for us. Are we heading to freedom? Eventually? I don’t know. We can hope.
But also, speaking of words, hope is a useless word, really. It takes us out of the present and into the future, and then we worry. All the time. So much. Useless.
Anyhow, God is leading them in a roundabout way to freedom. It’s a scary road they’re on. It’s a scary road we’re on, too.
When things are hard and we face challenges, we might easily have a change of heart and turn around to what we imagine was easier. We begin reminiscing of old times, like they were better times. But they weren’t. They really weren’t.
It’s the same as I’ve been saying; we think we want to go back to the way things were before—to some “normal.” But we don’t really. And we can’t anyway. The way things were, the way we were, was unsustainable, just like in the 1973 movie with Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. They wished they could work it out, but the reality is, though they loved each other, they just couldn’t.
Whether we’re heading towards freedom or not, whether God is leading us in a roundabout way or not, one thing is for sure; we must go forward. There is no other way to go.
For that, we must stay present. Aware. Awake. Taking risks. Paying attention. Whether it’s to the toilet bowls or the online conferences. (Forgive me. I’m feeling very silly tonight. It’s bedtime. But can we still say Amen?)
