Waking Up: Miketz
I heard a podcast about Amanda Knox, a young woman who became famous for being accused, imprisoned, then acquitted, for the killing of her roommate in Italy. Maybe you remember the case. She was only 20 at the time. That was almost 15 years ago.
It changed her life irrevocably in ways she could have never imagined. She grew up privileged, white, middle class; being wrongly accused, spending time in prison, the inability to return to her life and continue “as if,” were all a nightmare. Such possibilities were beyond her imagination.
Joseph’s experience in Torah is similar; coming from the privilege he grew up with, his life has been altered in ways he could have never imagined. Remember when he was a lad who spoke with arrogance to his brothers about his dreams? That innocence is gone.
The parsha starts with Pharaoh waking up from a dream—one nobody can interpret except Joseph. Joseph is pulled out of the dungeon where he has been languishing for a couple of years, is cleaned up and brought before Pharaoh once again.
This time, Joseph’s gift for interpreting dreams becomes useful for saving an entire region of the world from starvation; there will be years of famine ahead, and Pharaoh needs help preparing for them. Joseph's interpretation of the dream is that the years of famine will be so bad that the suffering will "swallow up" the memory of the previous good years leading up to them.
Once again, Joseph is elevated in the kingdom. Now he is given a wife, and has two children whom he names in honor of his suffering, hoping to forget his pain.
When his brothers come to him in need, they do not recognize him, and he pretends not to recognize them. He stuffs his pain down, and runs from the room to hide his emotion. He also gives them the runaround, getting revenge for the pain they have caused him.
Joseph pushes his pain away, not wanting to feel it, hoping to forget it, yet the reality of his loss can not be denied. It comes out in ways that are not productive and even harmful.
I don’t know what Joseph learned or how he grew from his suffering. Listening to Amanda Knox, it sounded like her experience raised her consciousness about what happens to people of color all the time in the U.S. She woke up to a reality she thought she would never have to live. She is now an active member of The Innocence Project, which does good work.
When asked if she feels angry, Knox’s response was something like, she has decided it is a waste of energy and time, and that though those feelings are real, she does not want to live from that place; anger is useful, but it can also be destructive and hold you back.
Dreams can be telling.
The Piaseczno Rebbe, whose writings I am studying at the moment, wrote about Hanukkah that when we light the candles, we should be aware of every flame as a spark of the Divine. In fact, he wanted us to live in a way where, in every moment and in every little thing we could see the spark of the Divine. In this way, we will likewise create the holiness we “see.” There is no separation.
As we wake up from this pandemic dream, with suffering that swallows up memories of good times, a nightmare about being alone and separate, may we learn to see a spark of the Divine in everything and everyone.
May we know that we are not separate or alone.
May we create a world of equity where skin color and gender are not determinants of outcome.
We can not forget our suffering. Nor should we. And our anger is real, and can be useful; we can learn from it, and so we should.
Let’s keep dreaming, and let’s keep waking up.
