Revelation, Misogyny, Naso, B’ha’a’lot’cha, & New Territory

You may have noticed that I didn’t blog last week for Parshat Naso.

I had so many thoughts and ideas, but nothing stuck enough to write.

There was the Priestly Blessing (May God shine God’s light upon you…).

And the magic of a spell put on a woman suspected of cheating on her (jealous?) husband (yes, the Bible sanctifies magic!).

It seems to be more of the same misogyny, of women suspected of using the power of her sexuality—and being punished for it by having her womb and thigh sag.

But as Shavuot descended upon us last Thursday, it became clear to me that I would not be blogging that week.

It was the revelation I needed—maybe the Revelation, capital “R” as received on Mt. Sinai.

The Revelation was (as pointed out by a friend) that I’m entering new territory in my life.

Preparing for the weddings I will be sanctifying is part of it.

Another is the Jewish Women Clergy group that I formed for my capstone project for my rabbinic ordination.

This group came as a revelation in itself last year!

We are getting very close to launching our website, and it’s very exciting.

It came to me as an idea after more than two years of pandemic and trying to “go it alone” as a leader.

That whole time, I…

Let’s just say I was very lonely.

It felt impossible.

I was doing everything people said to “get my name out there,” but I had no community.

And my dream had always been to lead in community—with other Jewish clergy—hopefully women.

I have to say, the impossibility of the task during such isolation made me feel somewhat like a failure.

Thus, I have something in common with Moses.

Because this week in Torah, Moses, too, feels like a failure.

As the Israelites move from camp to camp during their journey through the desert, they move from new territory to newer territory.

And they are full of complaints. (Who wouldn’t be with that kind of instability, and only manna to eat?)

They “remember” the varied and delicious foods they ate in Egypt—especially the meat.

Moses knows that he cannot satisfy this people, and especially not provide them with meat.

Thus, he feels like he has failed as a leader.

He cries out to God: “Why do you burden me with this people as if I birthed them? Am I to do this alone??”

God responds, “No, you don’t have to do it alone.”

Moses is to assign seventy elders to help him.

But God will be the one to provide the meat they crave.

Lots and lots of meat, until the people are sick.

I imagine that now Moses feels relieve—and a little less lonely.

When I think of the loneliness I felt as an almost-rabbi during the depths of the pandemic, I am thankful now that that is coming to an end for me.

Moses gets his male elders as support, but I craved the co-leadership of women.

In fact, I suspect there was a male out there who spread some rumors about me and my leadership, discouraging others from coming to my Shabbat services in the park (a bit of misogyny there, perhaps?).

But it helped to drive me to start something that would reflect the much-needed shifting paradigm in Judaism and in the world.

It’s a shift away from male dominated competition that unconsciously drives women to compete with each other for the few desirable Jewish clergy positions out there.

It is a shift away from women using their sexuality to draw others in, even in spiritual settings.

It is a shift towards one of true and genuine support, cooperation and co-creation among women.

And so, here I am, entering new territory.

I have my Jewish Women’s Clergy group—Covid-style, meaning we are dispersed around the country, but brought together by a common goal and the gift of the Internet—a World Wide Web, indeed.

We will offer a great variety of services—and serve we plan to. (Stay tuned!)

I can’t say how this will affect my blog and podcast going forward.

That is unknown.

I will see where I am led.

Just know that I will be finding a new rhythm to my writing; perhaps not weekly.

And now I end with a description of the manna of which the Israelites complained so bitterly.

This week’s Parsha says it is like a thick cream. Sounds delicious, no?

But eating the same food for years can become monotonous.

Still, since magic is sanctified by the Bible, and that magic sounds none too bad, perhaps we can be inspired to wonder if magic is possible for us as well.

We may not need manna to rain down on us, but we definitely need some water to fall from the sky.

Just as manna fell in the right quantities for the people, may the magic that is water itself rain down upon us in exactly the right quantities for us as well.

May it nourish the Earth so the Earth can continue to nourish us.

And may God shine God’s light upon us, and turn God’s face toward us.

And say Amen.