An Imperfect Cup of Coffee & Acharey Mot/Kedoshim

The book of Leviticus is chock full of rules and commandments.

But if you don’t take Torah over-seriously, you might find a little humor in this week’s Parsha.

That could be sacrilegious—but so be it.

The long list of family relations that you shouldn’t “lie” with is very long—and useful for the most part.

It’s good advice not to have sex with your father’s wife, for instance.

And possibly animals.

Of course, it is all very serious, and some of it has hurt a lot of people.

Like the injunction not to lie with another man the way you would a woman (which I did write very seriously about a while back. You can read it here).

But what I want to focus on today is the commandment to love your fellow, your neighbor, as yourself.

It comes along with, be kind to the stranger, for you were once strangers (in Egypt).

This might be the hardest thing we can do.

It’s a practice, not a feeling, as this article said on The Torah—.com.

It’s so important that it became The Golden Rule.

The Torah is specific about it, though.

Attached to it are all kinds of things like fraud, not putting stumbling blocks in front of the blind, not disrespecting the deaf, paying wages in a timely fashion…

The other day, I was listening to a podcast episode on Hidden Brain about connecting with others.

They were discussing clinical studies around why we don’t always reach out and help others in need.

So often, it turns out, it’s more about the feelings and thoughts we project onto others than about not wanting to help.

Of course, there’s judgment in many cases, as with people on the street.

But when we know the person, we apparently often worry that we might annoy them.

We also bring perfectionism into the picture: what if the help we offer, or the way we offer it, is not quite right?

The vast majority of the time, we are wrong.

In fact, by helping, we touch people in ways we can’t even imagine (even those we might judge).

The studies show that we completely underestimate how much others value the help we offer.

(The other day I put a bunch of change into an unhoused man’s hand, he looked down and said, “That’s a lot.”

“It’s not a lot,” I said.)

Even with tiny things like “paying forward” a cup of coffee someone bought us, or a bridge toll someone ahead paid for us—it makes people so happy!

These are all practices of kindness.

Isn’t that what the Torah is trying to tell us?

Just be kind.

And love a stranger—with no judgment!

According to Lorna Byrne, author of Angels in my Hair, simply offering someone the gift of a smile can save someone’s life.

You just never know, she says. (You can listen to the interview here on Sounds True.)

Byrne says that by living in this way, by spreading kindness, we can support our leaders by showing them the kind of world we want to live in.

So let’s try.

Let’s be kind.

To our neighbors.

And the strangers we pass along the street.

Take a chance—even if it’s not perfect.

Byrne believes that it’s possible to create that world we imagine, in spite of the very big challenges we face.

I want to believe it, too.

If you do, too, then say Amen.